Lady Gaga’s Perfume

As some of you may or may not know, Lady Gaga, beloved Kermit the Frog wearing modern-art as fashion sense singer and songwriter has teamed up with Coty to create her own fragrance. Just like every single other celebrity of recent note.

Her fragrance name is presently rumored to be called “Monster” and is scheduled to appear sometime in 2012. No word yet on the notes for this thing but should we really hold our breaths for anything to come out of a celebuscent? Besides the miasma of fruity floral that’s practically a hallmark of all celebrity perfumes?

I’m going to hold out on this last string for some small semblance of hope for a fragrance that’s not fruity. That’s all I ask, just no fruits, please.

Thanks to The Scented Salamander.

Hilarious Fragrances I Should Smell

I’m always up for something awful and that includes perfumes. There’s only so much gushing praise I can pour out for beautiful, well-composed fragrances. My dictionary of disdain is a larger tome than the one I use for praise. There’s also a chance that in finding a supposed “awfully” tacky perfume, I might be pleasantly surprised when I come to like how it smells.

So for amusement purposes to give this review blog a bit more kick, the following fragrances are on my hit list:

  • “Spirit” by American Idol
  • “Disney Princess Variety Collection” by Disney
  • “Absolutely Fabulous” by Revlon
  • “Arrogant” by English Laundry (Really? “Arrogant”?)
  • “Barbie Variety Collection” by Mattel
  • “Bratz Variety Collection” by MGA
  • “Ice Age 2 The Meldown” by Air Val International
  • “The Little Mermaid” by Disney
  • “Mary-Kate and Ashley” by Mary-Kate and Ashley
  • “Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse” by Disney (Seriously, Disney, just stop it)
  • “Pirates of the Caribbean” by Air Val International
  • Any Axe Fragrance by Axe

Got any suggestions of horribly tacky perfume I need to assault my nostrils with? Leave me a comment!

John Varvatos Artisan

Artisan and Artisan Black are two of the very few men’s fragrances I’ve smelled and actually wanted to own. Artisan is my favorite of the two for a lot of reasons. But the main thing, it doesn’t rely on smelling primarily “marine and sporty” or “aromatic and woodsy”, which is something I have to commend Artisan and other men’s fragrances that avoid those two genresĀ  for. Artisan

In Bottle: Orange blossoms that makes me think of freshly cut, sweet oranges. Very simple opening but it’s surprisingly pleasant and vivid. I quite like that.

Applied: Again, orange blossom opening with the vision of a fresh, juicy and sweet orange. It lingers for a bit before a little hint of spice kicks in and takes Artisan into slightly more familiar men’s fragrance territory. The thyme is also in there as Artisan evolves on the skin making this smell a bit more masculine as it continues to age and introduces a wet, green woods note and sharp citrus note in the middle that mingles with the spicy thyme and lingering orange blossom from the opening. Artisan doesn’t last very long on me, unfortunately, as it dries down a light green woodsy scent in the end that sticks very close to the skin. This is probably my favorite men’s cologne at the moment.

Extra: John Varvatos is a fashion designer that focuses primarily on men’s clothing. The name was started in 1999 with its first release in 2000, making this a very young fashion house indeed.

Design: Artisan is set in a glass bottle molded to look like it was woven. It gives the bottle a sort of tropical island, handmade, anthropologist kicking it old school and living out of a tent kind of feel. The texture on the bottle alone is enough to want you to pick it up and play with it for a while. The bottle, however, is quite heavy and a bit awkward to hold but you can’t argue with that awesome design.

Fragrance Family: Citrus Woodsy

Notes: Sicilian clementine, tangelo fruit, Mexican tangerine, aromatic thyme, Spanish marjoram, Greek lavender, North African orange blossom, Indian plant Murraya, orange-infused jasmine, Nigerian ginger, Chinese ginger, purple ginger, Kephalis wood, Geaorgewood, Belleambre, musk Serenolide.

You can’t look at that notes list and tell me it doesn’t at least intrigue you a little bit. Artisan is a great mix of notes but most of all it’s a really, really good fresh and masculine scent.

Reviewed in This Post:Artisan, 2009, Eau de Toilette.