Dita Von Teese Erotique

Got a request to do a review of this one. It took me a few months to track down a sample of it, half because it was curiously hidden away at department stores where I am and half because I felt another mention of celebuscents within months of each other was a bit over the top.

Erotique

Erotique

In Bottle: Leather and smoke with a bath of wood.

Applied:  Erotique reminds me of the word “blunt”, the adjective. It comes in with leather and gives you the dyed soaking version of just that. It smells of smoke instead of incense. The smoked leather is warm, if you need something to remind you of heat in the dead of winter, I think Erotique might help. It reminds me more of a fireplace than leather at times, and at other times it’s overwhelmingly warm leather. I guess the imagery I get from this is less erotic and more comfy. Like taking a nap on a leather sofa in front of a wood burning fireplace. There are other elements of this that come and go, in less noticeable amounts than the leather and wood. There’s not too much else I notice aside from a kick of spice here and there, but what is there is a pleasant enough journey for me.

Extra: Erotique was released in 2013. Dita Von Teese, I had to look up, and discovered she was at one time the wife of Marilyn Manson whose musical stylings confused and frightened an eight year old version of me back in the 90s.

Design: For a fragrance like this, I found the bottle to be a strange juxtaposition. Its shape and color and styling would make me think “sweet and fruity!” rather than warm leathery woods. The cap is also a bit overdone, but I’d be hard pressed to say the bottle didn’t look nice. I just don’t think it looks appropriate.

Fragrance Family: Woodsy Leather

Notes: Rose, incense, leather, pepper, coriander, sandalwood, guaiac wood, cedar, musk.

Maybe it was because I had to take it easy on the fragrances for about a month, or maybe it was ten to twenty fragrances I had tested before I got this one–in a period of about three to four days but by the time I was done with Erotique, I had a pretty awesome fragrance headache. No idea where that came from, the last headache I got was years ago (from perfume anyway). I really don’t think it had anything to do with Erotique, but rather my brain telling me to ease myself back into perfumery. Regardless, Erotique is actually one of the few celebuscents that does something remotely different from everything else. If you must get yourself a celebuscent, try Erotique.

Reviewed in This Post: Erotique, 2013, Eau de Parfum.


Katy Perry Killer Queen

So work is starting to pick up and I might have a little bit of cash to drop on some niche and vintage goodies. And I say this with all the love I can muster for dime a dozen, easily accessible department store celebuscents that tide me over when I don’t have a decant of a rare fume on hand. Unfortunately for me, most celebuscents have lost their luster since I’ve smelled so many of them and most have the unfortunate habit of being really, really, really generic.

Killer Queen

Killer Queen

In Bottle: Sugar and berries. Almost smells like a collection of liquified jelly berries. You know, these things: Haribo Gummy Candies. Don’t get me wrong, I love those gummy berries. I just expected more out of a fragrance that’s going to call itself Killer Queen.

Applied: Smells like sweet berries, rolled in vast amounts of sugar. Killer Queen is so sweet, I’m going to assume the killer part of it is from a sugar overdose. From what I’m smelling, there’s very little else other than the berry smell. I don’t get any jasmine, I can’t smell any patchouli or anything more sophisticated than really sweet berries. The midstage does get a little flowery. But it’s that sugary-sweet frangipani flower. The dry down is barely any different from the midstage. The sugar is still very prominent, the entire fragrance is quite one-dimensional and I mean, I guess I shouldn’t expect much from a celebuscent at this rate. But I will say I was pretty disappointed that they chose to name it something pretty awesome and then did something really lame with it.

Extra: Killer Queen was the title of a song by Queen, written by Freddie Mercury and released in 1974. The fragrance, Killer Queen by Katy Perry was released earlier in 2013. I’m going to have to throw it out there that someone else ought to take the name and make a more appropriate fragrance with it. I imagine something more powerful and unique. Maybe a number with leather, roses, a touch of sleazy civet, frankincense, tonka and amber. What about you?

Design: The bottle design isn’t that bad, though I’m noticing more bottles going for the “can’t stand it upright” design approach. Not sure how I feel about that particular choice yet, but the bottle itself is pretty attractive, if somewhat lacking in creativity.

Fragrance Family: Fruity Gourmand

Notes: Fruits, plum, bergamot, celosia, frangipani, jasmine, praline, cashmere, patchouli.

I will admit that I picked up Killer Queen and decided to give it a shot at the store because of its name. This, and I somehow managed to miss the large and very prominent poster of Katy Perry with the blasted thing on her scepter posted right above the bottle display. I’m not very observant apparently.

Reviewed in This Post: Killer Queen, 2013, Eau de Parfum.


Taylor Swift Wonderstruck Enchanted

I didn’t happen upon Wonderstruck Enchanted by accident. It was actually somewhat pushed on me by a well-meaning sales associate who said it would suit me.

Wonderstruck Enchanted. In case you weren't tired of looking at Taylor Swift yet. I am.

Wonderstruck Enchanted. In case you weren’t tired of looking at Taylor Swift yet. I am.

In Bottle: I was underwhelmed when I smelled it prior to application. It had the hallmarks of faux vanilla and too sweet berries.

Applied: Well-meaning sales associate tells me Wonderstruck Enchanged was new, smelled fresh, clean, sweet and that it would suit me quite well. I was a little perturbed by that assessment, but figured I would try it anyway. Upon application, the sweetness and faux vanilla make themselves known right away. It’s not outright plastic-smelling but it isn’t natural. The sweetness is dialed way up in this to the point where my teeth felt like they needed to be drilled and filled in. And by the time I had walked away from the fragrance counter, gone home, went for a jog, showered then sat around for a few hours–I could still smell the sweetness on me. It clings like a powerhouse. Wonderstruck Enchanted isn’t special or unique. To me, it’s like a pile of berry candies coated with a vanilla air freshener. It’s just unappealing and kind of a mess. And unfortunately for it, it’s strength and longevity make it last an absurd amount of time. It wasn’t until I woke up the next morning did I finally rid myself of the cloying sweetness.

Extra: Wonderstruck Enchanted is obviously the flanker for the original Wonderstruck. It was released in 2012, and I really wish they had taken some time to think about it a little bit more because the fragrance manages to be both uninspired and messy.

Design: Similar shape to the original Wonderstruck. It’s red this time instead of just purple and features some slightly different charms around the neck of the bottle. I like the ornate cap, but that’s really about all I can say for it because every other design detail is clearly aimed at a younger audience.

Fragrance Family: Fruity

Notes: Passionfruit, berries, poppy, freesia, peony, champaca, sugar, musk, woods, vanilla.

Well, there you go. A few months go by and I get this urge to write about a celebuscent and Wonderstruck Enchanted just had to be it. It really wasn’t anything special and I found it mildly annoying that Taylor Swift was every where I looked. But hey, at least it wasn’t Lady Gaga again.

Reviewed in This Post: Wonderstruck Enchanted, 2012, Eau de Parfum.


Madonna Truth or Dare

With the way work has been ramping up lately, I haven’t had the chance to get my nose wrapped around much but my usual standbys. So, when I discovered the local mall had a bottle of Madonna’s Truth or Dare sitting out, I shrugged my shoulders and thought, “Well, why not? I’m here already.”

Truth or Dare

Truth or Dare

In Bottle: Wow, tuberose. I get a very strong floral presence that’s predominantly tuberose.

Applied: Yikes. Tuberose. I know this scent gets compared to Fracas–the cheeky Tuberose Queen and I definitely get that impression. Truth or Dare opens up with a powerful hit of sweet tuberose followed with a barely-able-to-contain-itself gardenia note that furthers the floral interpretation. The fragrance is so sweet and floral that it obliterates any other smell to my nose can pick up and starts to smell like plastic a couple of minutes into wear. By the time hour two rolled around, I was trying to scrub it off because I smelled overwhelmingly like plastic. And of course, like with most fragrances that don’t agree with you, this just wouldn’t come off. So I did the only logical thing; I sprayed some more on, in a different location, went home and sat out the fragrance so I could at least take notes on it, review it, and never touch it again. The longevity is fairly good, lasting quite a few hours on me before it tried to exhibit any other kind of personality. Truth or Dare gets a bit less tuberose near the end of its mid-stage and focuses a bit more on this nice creamy, vanilla with some plastic stretched over it. But for as long as I could still smell it, there was that sweet plastic tuberose note dominating the entire scene.

Extra: Truth or Dare was launched earlier in 2012. The fragrance was composed by Stephen Nilsen.

Design: I can’t say I see the beauty of this design. The bottle is a white glass, but looks like it’s made of plastic until you touch it. The cap is a gold plastic, molded with these little studs, it looks a bit inappropriate and doesn’t quite do the fragrance any favors. All right, I admit, the thing is downright ugly. I think those studs or raised bumps on the bottle are taking it from “plain but looks all right” to “fugly” territory. I’m just a fan of the aesthetics this time.

Fragrance Family: Sweet Floral

Notes: Neroli, gardenia, tuberose, jasmine, benzoin, lily, vanilla, amber, musk.

I was actually hoping this one would work out, having heard how classical it was supposed to be. Having heard how similar to Fracas it was. But unlike Fracas, it overdoes the tuberose and not in a good way. I think I’ll stick to Fracas.

Reviewed in This Post: Truth or Dare, 2012, Eau de Parfum.


Playboy VIP For Her

Seems like I’ve been on something of a niche and vintage bender lately and have been immensely enjoying it. But it’s time to pull things back a little and take a sniff of this Playboy VIP for Her sample I got in the mail one day.

VIP for Her

VIP for Her

In Bottle: Fruity and floral with a slightly woody element to it. Smells a bit like jam, I get a big apple presence.

Applied: Fruity, clean and sweet on the opening. It’s not overpowering, and actually kind of pleasant. Not interesting, just pleasant. Like a non-offensive shampoo kind of smell. The apple isn’t bothering me too much though it smells quite synthetic as apple notes tend to do. It’s not a screaming, overbearing synthetic apple though. It’s just a hint of plastic and that’s a good thing because apple notes don’t often agree with me this well. VIP for Her’s midstage is a fairly bland affair of florals and sugary fruits followed by an equally bland sandalwood, vanilla and white musk end cycle that doesn’t do too much to excite, but does do a lot for the wearability of the fragrance. I’m not going to pick this one out if I had a choice, but I’m also not going to be too disappointed if I had to wear it.

Extra: I was actually rather amused by the Playboy VIP for Her commercials more than anything else. The absurd humor is getting to me, I suppose. And I have a weakness for adorable animals–but then, who doesn’t? Playboy VIP has a men’s counterpart called, Playboy VIP for Him that also features a set of amusing commercials.

Design: I’m not a big fan of Playboy, their publications, their fragrances, or their paraphernalia. Growing up, I always thought of the Playboy bunny logo as a sign of things I wouldn’t be interested looking at and the same remains true today. I don’t like the design of the bottle and don’t like the Playboy aesthetic in general. Different strokes for different folks.

Fragrance Family: Fruity Floral

Notes: Nectarine, peony, orange blossom, apple, berries, heliotrope, vanilla, cashmere wood, sandalwood, white musk.

Fairly bland showing for VIP for Her, but it’s miles better than other Playboy fragrances I’ve sampled in the past. Not a bad thing to pick up if you like fruity florals, but there are definitely better ones out there. I think the best parts of VIP for Her is its inoffensiveness and it’s reasonable price.

Reviewed in This Post: VIP For Her, 2012, Eau de Toilette.


Lady Gaga Fame

I’m going to make a deal with you guys and myself. I’m going to review this thing, then I will absolutely not mention Lady Gaga or Fame again for the duration of this year. I think we’d all like to move on, and I was almost going to pass on even trying this because of how bored I got with the marketing. So, I promise, this one last post and then no more.

Fame

Fame

In Bottle: If I had any expectations that this would smell anything different than a generic fragrance then I would like to once again concede my disappointment. Fame smells of slightly synthetic honeyed florals and the barest glance of vanillic incense.

Applied: I aimed a spray of this on my arm was fascinated to see the black turn clear. And that was probably the most promising thing about Fame. I will say upfront that if you expected this to be bold, unique, or interesting then you might be in for a let down. Fame starts off with a synthetic blast of fruity florals. I can’t really tell if the synthetic waft I got came from the purported belladonna note or the honey note they used. Maybe it even came from whatever agent they used to turn black liquid into clear liquid. Whatever it is, it smells faintly of chemical and plastic on application. Rest easy though, that stage of it lasts for a few seconds and Fame settles down into a honeyed apricot floral fragrance. It is very apricots and jasmine based with a thick coat of sweet honey. After the very generic mid-stage, Fame dives into a slightly more interesting saffron and incense with florals dry down. The dry down gives off a smoky saffron (smells a bit like vanilla to me) twist to the generic florals, but it’s really late to the ballgame and to be honest, the incense is lightly used which makes the dry down even less noteworthy.

Extra: Fame has been causing a huge buzz in the celebuscent circles for months and I’m particularly happy that it’s finally released and we can hopefully move on from here. Fame was developed by Coty with some sort of collaborative effort from Haus Laboratories. The fragrance was apparently marketed as having new technology including the black liquid and some nonsense about it being “push-pull” where the notes weren’t going to work in a typical pyramid fashion. I don’t know where they got that one because 1) perfumers have already been making that happen for years, and 2) I experienced a mostly linear progression.

Design: What Fame does well is mix Lady Gaga’s style with the design of the bottle. It very much reminds me of her while at the same time forces me to draw some similarities to Thierry Mugler’s designs. It’s Alien-esque, but I think it works well for Gaga’s image. The bottle isn’t ugly, but at the same time it’s not my kind of style as I’ve confessed before that I find most Mugler bottles to be a bit of an eyesore. Still, it felt nice to nice to hold and was easy to use. I’m not going to be buying it for looks or smell any time soon though.

Fragrance Family: Fruity Floral

Notes: Apricot, orchid, belladonna, jasmine, honey, saffron, incense.

Now, if you’re a huge fan of Gaga, I don’t think my review is going to curb you away from buying this. If you aren’t a fan of Gaga and just want to know if this is anything at like Mother Monster, then I’ll save you a trip to the department store and say, “No”. Fame is very pleasant, not gross or weird, but really generic and easily beaten by more competent honey fragrances such as Tokyo Milk’s Honey and the Moon or for a less gourmand and more floral scent, Aftelier’s Honey Blossom. If you want Gaga branding, go with Fame. If you want an actual interesting and beautiful honey floral fragrance? Seriously, check out Aftelier’s Honey Blossom.

Reviewed in This Post: Fame, 2012, Eau de Parfum.


Jessica Simpson Vintage Bloom

I will forever associate Jessica Simpson fragrances to that line of supposedly edible perfume that I have yet to taste for myself. People have reported they taste like varying degrees of fake vanilla flavor though. Anyway, this post isn’t about edible perfume. It’s just about Jessica Simpson’s newest fragrance, Vintage Bloom.

Vintage Bloom

Vintage Bloom

In Bottle: Smells fruity and floral. I know this is being pushed as a pure floral, but it smells like a standard fruity floral to me.

Applied: Yeah, big old fruit. I want to blame it on the combination of citrus and raspberry. There’s also more florals in this than peony. I want to say rose and jasmine with peony to make the trifecta of floral boredom. The end game is also largely typical with a clean sandalwood fade. The fragrance as a whole is dull but very wearable. It’s a nice neutral scent for a younger crowd that wants to smell nice and not controversial or complex in any way. It reminds me of–well, of a lot of other fragrances that smell exactly like this–all of which also fall into the celebuscent category. Chances are, if you own anything with another celebrity’s name on it that leans more towards “smells like flowers” than “smells like fruit” or “smells like candy” then you don’t need to buy a bottle of this. If you own any of Bath and Body Works’ latest floral releases then you don’t need a bottle of this. If you are missing a “smells like flowers” celebrity fragrance and feel like you need a little more Jessica Simpson in your life then you could do worse than Vintage Bloom.

Extra: I always feel like I have to write in a disclaimer for fans of these celebrities that no, Jessica Simpon/Paris Hilton/Britney Spears did not become perfumers overnight and mix their own fragrances in their bathtubs or whatever. Vintage Bloom was actually made by Parlux. The people (with an unfortunate Flash website) who brought you other fragrances such as Rhianna’s Reb’l Fleur, Paris Hilton’s Can Can, and Queen Latifah’s Queen.

Design: The bottle could look better. As it is, it’s one of those over-designed pieces that’s too ornate to be called simple, modern or elegant, and not ornate enough to qualify as extravagant. It kind of skirts that awkward middle where it doesn’t hit modern or “vintage”. It just looks kind of tacky and out of place and I can’t say I’m a big fan.

Fragrance Family: Fruity Floral

Notes: Lemon, lime, raspberry, peony, sandalwood, musk.

Remember when Jessica Simpson actually sang for a living instead of selling perfume with her name on it? Or embarrassing herself on a reality TV show? Is she even still singing? I’m about as up to date with music as I am with television and movies.

Reviewed in This Post: Vintage Bloom, 2012, Eau de Parfum.


Paris Hilton Passport Tokyo

As I’m looking at the couple of drops I have of this thing, I’m currently contemplating the amazing fact I just read on Perfume Posse. Paris Hilton–she of the Reality TV, zany antics, and Hilton Empire stardom–has sold $1.5 Billiondollars of perfume. That makes me just a little bit sad.

Passport Tokyo

Passport Tokyo

In Bottle: Light and citrus with a  bit of cedar and a little touch of sweet flowers. Whoo hoo.

Applied: Forgive my lack of enthusiasm for this one. I’m still reeling (two days after the fact) over the sum of money Hilton’s made on stuff like this. It’s not bad by any stretch of the imagination, but in the same vein, it’s not good either. In fact, it’s only not bad because it strikes a dull chord in my nose and tells me it’s all right, but if I want to be wooed and I’m not already swooning then I ought to get out of its way. Passport Tokyo’s mild and sheer citrus layer is joined by a sweet apple-like scent that blends into a really limp sweet floral woodsy fragrance that smells like it’s been diluted a couple of times. On the one hand, I’m glad the cedar isn’t assaulting my nostrils. On the other hand, I’m really disappointed by how toothless this is. Don’t let the repetition of the word ‘sweet’ fool you into thinking this is going to give you amazing amounts of sweetness. The whole affair is really light and mild.

Extra: Passport Tokyo was released in 2010 as a part of the Passport series of fragrances. The other two in this line were Paris and South Beach.

Design: Kind of garish and seems to be marketed at a much younger crowd. The bottle is clearly not aiming for luxury, but rather for fun. However, I just don’t think an EDT should ever look like that as it’s much more of a body spray packaging choice than something for an actual perfume.

Fragrance Family: Citrus Floral

Notes: Lemon, apple, frangipani, orange flower, jasmine, iris, sandalwood, cedar,musk.

Passport Tokyo’s a bit forgettable and I wouldn’t even really recommend it to anyone interested in a light citrus scent. It just smells watered down. And, come on! $1.5 Billion! Sorry, still can’t get over that.

Reviewed in This Post: Passport Tokyo, 2010, Eau de Toilette.


B&BW Coconut Lime Breeze

After buying some candles at Bath and Body Works, I found that I had a choice of a free item. So I wandered about the store and picked up the Coconut Lime Breeze fragrance and gave it a sniff. Its similarity to Coconut Lime Verbena is probably not a coincidence, but the two aren’t exactly alike.

Coconut Lime Breeze

Coconut Lime Breeze

In Bottle: Sharp citrus scent with an equally heavy layer of coconut.

Applied: Pretty much the same impression I got in the bottle. There’s a stronger citrus element in Coconut Lime Breeze than compared to Coconut Lime Verbena. The fragrance opens with a rather strong blast of lime followed by a bergamot and citrus zest scent. It digs more into its coconut notes in the mid-stage where I get the occasional waft of florals and vanilla. The stars of this scent, though are quite obviously the coconut and the lime, with a little more emphasis on the lime. That is how the scent starts and that is how the scent ends–with the classic blending of coconut and lime. Now, I love coconut anyway, and clean coconut tends to behave a bit better to my nose because the clean or sharp element helps mask the often synthetic smell. There is a harshness to this fragrance though. It’s not a game-breaking harshness like the overuse of cedar in some perfumes. The harshness here has to do with the lime being a bit aggressive and astringent. There’s not much in the way of progression as you will start with a sharp lime and coconut scent and end with a softer lime and coconut scent. It’s a good combination, there’s a reason why musicians have lyrics to the combination of coconut and lime and it’s because they work well together.

Extra: Coconut Lime Breeze–much like many of Bath and Body Works’ many other successful fragrances was released to replace the discontinued Coconut Lime Verbena. Again, there are some differences between the two. Coconut Lime Verbena focused a bit more on the coconut note and was overall a softer fragrance. Coconut Lime Breeze has a sharper, stronger citrus note and is a bit more noticeable at first. At least, that’s how it is to me.

Design: I was delighted to see Bath and Body Works had changed their body spray packaging from the somewhat boring curvy bottle to be more similar to Victoria’s Secret’s Beauty Rush bottles. We now get a straight cylinder with a metallic cap and a unique design wrapped around the packaging. The bottles feel heavier, feel smoother and generally looks much more professional. Nicely done, Bath and Body Works.

Fragrance Family: Fruity Floral

Notes: Tangerine, lemon, neroli, lime, bergamot, melon, muget, pineapple, jasmine, lime blossom, coconut, sandalwood, vanilla.

I like the stronger citrus in this than Coconut Lime Verbena. In terms of similarity, the two are alike enough to satisfy people looking for a citrus and coconut combination. But if you were looking for the exact same fragrance, you may have to look up stray bottles of Coconut Lime Verbena, as there is a noticeable difference between these two. And if you were looking for a more subdued interpretation of coconut and lime and have money burning a hole in your wallet then Creed’s Virgin Island Water is still one of the best coconut-based fragrances I’ve smelled so far.

Reviewed in This Post: Coconut Lime Breeze, 2012, Body Mist.


Heidi Klum Me

If I were ever in the position to have a fragrance made for me, I’d probably be unimaginative enough to just call it, “Me”. It’s really too bad Heidi Klum already beat me to it.

Me

Me

In Bottle: Fresh is probably the one and only word I’ve got for Me. The melon is pretty prominent to my nose along with the clean florals in the middle.

Applied: It’s got a nice blast of fruitiness that mellows into this juicy, clean melon scent which does a nice job eventually moving into an also pleasant and clean floral mid-stage that’s marked with a bit of sparkle and shine. There’s nothing so bold as an aldehyde in this, but the musk couldn’t be anything but white and the woods and vanilla couldn’t be anything but scrubbed with all impurities removed before being bottled. Me is quintessentially young, clean, and fresh. It’s a nice, mild-mannered scent for everyday wear.

Extra: Me was released in 2006 and hasn’t really garnered as much success as some celebrity perfumes. It seems to occupy that dark corner of celebrity fragrances where the lesser known perfumes with celebrity names hang out.

Design: Me isn’t very pretty. It’s actually rather bland in aesthetic and a little bit clunky too. It’s bottled in this roundish container with a standard baby pink cap that doesn’t do much for it’s appeal. It’s not ugly, not pretty, and ultimately not very memorable.

Fragrance Family: Fresh Fruity

Notes: Blackcurrant, apple, melon, pepper, violet, water lily, jasmine, plum, woods, sandalwood, vanilla, musk.

If you want a well done fresh melon and floral scent, then Me is your stuff. You can actually buy this stuff on the Heidi Klum website. Enjoy.

Reviewed in This Post: Me, 2006, Eau de Parfum.